Connecting the Dots: Reflections on Death and the Human Experience

Today, I would not be discussing any specific topic. Rather, I will be sharing my personal experiences and reflections on some questions to which I don’t have definite answers. Although I have received answers from people around me, those answers were not quite satisfied my quest for understanding, and so my pursuit continues.

My last week was a rollercoaster ride, filled with ups and downs related to various aspects of life. I have witnessed moments of joy and sorrow, and I was exposed to different aspects of life that were previously hidden or unknown to me.

Witnessing the Complete Life Cycle: Observations and Revelations

During that time, I had the opportunity to observe the complete life cycle of a human being—from birth and education to career, family, and ultimately, death. Witnessing all these life events in a span of just one week was an eye-opening experience when I got deeper into their significance and it was not an easy task. Many questions arose in my mind as I saw these events converge.

Embracing the Uncomfortable Topic

If I want to categorize events emotion-wise between happy and sad, most of the moments would fall under the happy category, except for one event. It seems that when such one event occurs, people often avoid discussing it or shy away from facing it. Nevertheless, avoiding it would not bring any resolution.

I have gathered the courage to share my thoughts on this topic, and by now, you might have already guessed what it’s about—death. Yes! You heard it right – DEATH.

Last week, I experienced the loss of 4 people in my circle, individuals with whom I had direct or indirect connections for a long time. The death of those people was so sudden for me. What I observed during those events left me shocked and without any clear conclusions. I am still figuring it out.

At the time of death, people in the family or surrounding the deceased often struggle to accept the reality of the situation. We tend to dwell in the past during such moments, reminiscing about past events related to the departed. These memories often lead to tears, and I noticed two distinct groups of people present. One group recalls the happy times spent with the deceased, while the other group reflects on their own negative actions towards the departed, seeking forgiveness and apologizing at their feet. There’s also a third kind of group that offers condolences merely for societal expectations, without genuine emotional connection. The atmosphere is filled with continuous sorrow and mourning in the family of the departed.

These events prompted me to ponder some significant questions about life:

1) Why do we feel so much grief when someone dies?

2) What drives us to seek apologies from the deceased?

3) Why can’t we celebrate death?

When I asked the first question, the common answer was, “Because they were a family member or close friend.” While this response may seem logical and convincing, for me, it remains an unresolved mystery due to the fact that everyone on Earth will eventually die, and we are aware of this. Yet, we still feel heartbroken. To me, it is more related to our refusal to accept this harsh reality. We cannot ignore reality due to its brutality. Deep down, we do not want to face the idea that our family member or close friend will eventually pass away, leaving us behind alone and in grief. This unwillingness to accept change leads us to dwell in the past, projecting an illusion that those around us will never die. It’s just a hallucination impact that we might be aware of but want to ignore. This unconscious mindset fosters grudges and negative behavior towards others, assuming they will live as long as we do. But when they actually pass away, we are filled with remorse for holding grudges, wishing we had treated them differently when they were alive. This remorse often leads to seeking apologies from the deceased.

“Let’s not take life for granted and lead carefree lives.”

– Jugal Solanki

Dispelling Misconceptions: A Mature Approach to Life and Death

In our lives, two events are certain for everyone, regardless of religion, caste, or creed—birth and death. However, we tend to perceive these two events differently. At the time of birth, we celebrate with joy and happiness, while at the time of death, we mourn and feel sorrow. Both events are inherent aspects of life, given to us by God or nature, so why do we approach them differently?

Connecting the Dots: Uniting Perspectives on Mortality

I recall an incident from my life when I completed my matriculation (SSC). While visiting the school to obtain my leaving certificate, I noticed one of the teachers had teary eyes. She said, “My favorite student is leaving this school to pursue higher studies, and I wish you the best of luck for your future endeavors.” Her tears weren’t of sadness but of happiness, knowing that her student would achieve success in higher studies.

Similarly, when a soul leaves its body, we should be happy for that soul, knowing that it will continue its journey towards liberation. We might shed tears, but they should be tears of joy, not sorrow. We should cherish the memories of the departed rather than being overwhelmed by sadness. I fail to understand why we associate death with sorrow when, instead, we can celebrate it.

The Journey Beyond: Exploring the Afterlife and Beyond the Veil

I understand that this perspective might seem emotionless to many, but celebrating death doesn’t mean lacking emotions for the departed. We all have emotions for our family members and loved ones. I simply want to normalize the idea that death is a natural part of life, and if it happens, let’s not succumb to sorrow but instead create an atmosphere of celebration as the soul progresses on its journey. Isn’t it the liberation of the soul?

A Personal Pledge: Normalizing Death and Celebrating Life

People are often knowledgeable in giving advice, but when it comes to applying it to themselves, many fail. Therefore, I take it upon myself to normalize death and view it as a cause for celebration. I don’t want this pledge to be mere words; I’ve already taken steps in this direction by discussing death openly with family and friends. Let’s not take life for granted and lead carefree lives.

To summarize, here are some key points on my mind:

– Death is always unexpected and sudden.

– Death is a celebration of liberation, not a moment of sorrow.

– Celebrating death doesn’t make anyone emotionless; it’s a mature and profound way of looking at life.

– The misconception that everyone will always be with us needs to be dispelled.

– Let’s normalize discussions about death and make it a comfortable topic.

– Embrace the present and live life to the fullest.

– Today is the only day we have, so let’s do good and avoid holding grudges or negative feelings toward others. We might not be alive tomorrow.

I know my thoughts might not be fully connected yet, but with time, I believe the dots will come together. #ConnectingDots

I would love to hear your perspectives on the topic of death. and what do you feel about death? Do you want to normalize it, or you don’t want to discuss it?

Share your thoughts, it might help me to connect the dots further.

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